Bananarama - The Greatest Hits Collection

MINE

That screaming you hear?  That would be my dear husband, who believes that listening to Bananarama is akin to musical torture.  I, on the other hand, am quite fond of this collection, coming from their heyday in the 80s.  It's just pop bubble and fluff, I'll grant you that.  But it's fun - in the same way Kylie and Madge and all those other girlies are fun.

I will say there are a few songs on the collection that leave me cold, but who doesn't like getting out on the dancefloor to Venus? I love some of the slower ones like Robert De Niro's Waiting and Cruel Summer - Shy Boy gets me singing too.

But I think the best thing about Bananarama is their reputation as a bunch of party girls.  I remember an anecdote told by Triple J DJ Maynard F# Crabbes, who said he'd been getting down with the band at a Kings Cross nightclub some time in the mid 80s, but lost track of them some time during the evening.  When he left to catch a taxi home in the early hours, he tripped over them - sitting in the gutter with one (he didn't say which) having a "monumental spew".  And then cleaning up quickly to appear on breakfast radio somewhere else.  Go, girls.

VERDICT: TURN IT UP

YOURZ

Yep, Mine got it right.

Let me put it this way, listening to the little bits and pieces of this collection (and believe me, I tried, folks, I really tried) was like jabbing very sharp objects in my ears.  I just wanted to scrape it all out, put it in a box, take the box for a long drive into the distant hills and bury it a deep hole where it could never get out and torture me again.

Of course, Mine happens to like it, damn it all.  So it will stay.  But I refuse to listen to it again.  This is one you can play when I'm not at home, darling.  Please!

VERDICT: THROW IT OUT

For more information: http://www.bananarama.co.uk/

Fatboy Slim - Better Living Through Chemistry

YOURZ

Ah, there's just no mistaking the sound.  I think I could recognise a Fatboy Slim song in 30 seconds.  I might not be able to tell you the name of the song but really, when it comes down to it, who cares?  He's the ultimate Big Beat musician/composer/producer and also the last of one of the great party kings.

His music has inspired many late nights cavorting with mind-altering substances while dancing around like I just don't care.  And I seriously didn't.  The best thing about Fatboy Slim is he brings out the best at any party and the essence of a great party is its carefree-ness. 

Unfortunately, my love of Norman's work starts with and pretty much ends with the followup album to this - You've Come A Long Way, Baby.  In fact, apart from a few cursory listens prior to having to review Better Living Through Chemistry, I've pretty much ignored this album.  It certainly has Fatboy Slim's trademark big beat sound but it also lacks the inclusion of hooky vocals.  He obviously learnt his lesson for the next one.

VERDICT: TURN IT DOWN

MINE

Stormin' Norman!  My relationship with Mr Cook goes right back to his time with The Housemartins (loved Caravan of Love) and then to Beats International.  I only have an EP of theirs, which features a great dub version of Madonna's Crazy For You.

But of course it's his work as Fatboy Slim that's garnered him the most acclaim and I am a firm fan.  This album, however, isn't what I'd call the pinnacle of his career.  Largely instrumental, I'm fond of Michael Jackson and Going Out Of My Head, but the rest of it isn't as good.  He really came into his own with the next two albums, You've Come A Long Way, Baby and Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars.

I've seen him DJ once, at The Dome in Sydney's Moore Park.  My friend Sharon and I went on a very hot summer night, where Sydney did one of its famous 10 minute tropical cloudbursts so it was sticky, too.  The DJs who were the support acts were frankly pretty dreary, but it was worth the wait for him.  I recall it was so hot, condensation was dripping off the roof onto the dancers.  A great night.

VERDICT: TURN IT DOWN the next two albums are better

For more information: http://fatboyslim.net/

In our collection, we also have: You've Come A Long Way, Baby and Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars

The Breeders - Pod

YOURZ

There was a time when Pod was never filed away because it was always the next choice to be played.  It was one of THE must have CDs if you wanted your collection to have any sort of indie credibility.  Mind you, this was 20 years ago when things like 'indie credibility' meant a lot more to me than it probably should have.  But then, acceptance from my peers was also very high on my list of 'must haves'.  The older we get, the less we give a shit about small stuff like this.

I'm really glad Pod has stayed in my collection for all those years, though.  Listening back to it reminds me of some fantastic days, particularly of making music and hanging out with a great bunch of creative, talented and generally awesome people.  The Steve Albini-produced track list includes quite possibly the best Beatles cover ever in 'Happiness Is A Warm Gun'.  And while the production could only be described as minimal, at best, it also served as a no-nonsense template for the great swathe of bands who took this ideal and ran with it.  Of the 12 tracks, 9 come in under the 3 minute mark and a third of these under the 2 minutes.

It was head Breeder Kim Deal's links to her day job as The Pixies bass player that got this side-project noticed.  This could have been a bit of a disaster if Deal's song writing hadn't stood up.  But thankfully it did and still does.  And while history will record their more commercial followup, the mega-selling Last Splash, as the best this band has to offer.  But for me, it will always be Pod.

VERDICT: TURN IT UP

MINE

I wonder how Steve Albini feels about having this on his CV now?  When I read those words - "Engineered by Steve Albini" - before listening to Pod I thought, well, it'll have to sound good at least.  How wrong I was.

Let me paint you a picture.  YourZ and I live in a small apartment building (four apartments, two up, two down) on a dual-carriageway road in a beachside suburb of Sydney.  We live on a hill, and therefore the garages are underneath the apartments - a good way underneath, in fact, dug into the hill.  The buildings on either side of us are the same, and that means a proliferation of garage bands.  YourZ has rocked the suburbs on many an occasion, there's a sort of heavy-metalish band next door and I think in the mansion a few doors down there's a bit of a vanity band (I've heard them do Roxanne by the Police and Madonna's Like A Virgin and both really not that well so you get my drift).

The sound produced by the Breeders on Pod reminds me of listening to a garage band through the doors.  The vocals are unintelligible, there's always someone off-key because there's no fold-back, and what you can mostly hear is the drums, which sound strangely flat.  I've read they recorded it in a week, and had money left over to do other stuff.  And it sounds like it, with the exception of their version of Happiness Is A Warm Gun which I don't think would have upset John Lennon too much.

VERDICT: THROW IT OUT

For more information: http://www.myspace.com/thebreeders

February - Wrapup

MINE

Well that one just whizzed by - anybody would think there were less days to do everything this month.  Oh, wait...

So I guess we mostly discovered whose musical bones are broken - or who we're tone deaf for, which in my case is Radiohead, and in my husband's case is Madonna.  But the reviews keep coming and we're exposing ourselves to a whole bunch of stuff we ordinarily wouldn't be listening to.

This month I most enjoyed discovering The Grifters.  And as I have the next week off from work, I'm looking forward to revamping my gym-workout list to include some of the new music I've discovered and the songs I've rediscovered.  I'm also heading off to purchase Florence & The Machine after finally listening to some samples, and confirming to myself I can in fact still decide what music I like just by reading a review.  Age-based self-doubt, begone!

I guess what I might ask from some of you who are reading is - given you've taken note of what we own and what we like, do you any suggestions for us?  Who do you think we might enjoy getting down to?

YOURZ

February gave us the broken bone dilemma.  As Mine has mentioned, we both discovered which of our musical bones are useless beyond repair.  But isn't this again a perfect example of just how our individuality shines when it comes to any form of art?

I had a moment when the pointy stick came down on Madonna, you better believe it.  But then I remembered Mine also had to go through the same with Radiohead and I felt a little better.  These two artists are probably the most perfect example of the musical distance between Mine and YourZ (truly).  But the beauty of this month, the moments worth savouring are not the distances, but those when we're close.  I was stoked to hit on Aint My Lookout by The Grifters, an old favourite I hadn't listened to for ages.  And it returned the favour Mine gave me last month with Wild Wood by Paul Weller.

In the last Wrapup, we wrote we were giving James Hunter's The Hard Way, to my parents.  Well we're happy to report they really enjoy it, as we thought they would.  In fact, my father, bless his orthopaedic socks, has said if there is anything else like that we want to get rid of, he'd be happy to take it off our hands.  This month, we've decided to give away Billy Bragg's William Bloke to one of our favourite kindred bloggers, Chris at The Small Takeover (see his blog here).  Chris, if you're reading this, send us an email with your address, so we can send you some padded baggy goodness (and we'll also try and contact you direct).

When we started this project, we wanted to do it without the influence of friends or family.  We wanted to make a good start, suss out the problems and sort out exactly how we were going to run this blog without the burden of other opinions.  And believe me, some of our friends and family have very large opinions, so this was important to us.

But the thin veil of anonymity became even thinner this month.  It was lifted rather easily by an ex-girlfriend who, through another blog, discovered our identity.  This has led us to deciding we're going to 'come out', so to speak, and let everyone know we're writing this blog.  I don't know what this will mean but it's exciting.

Finally, I just want to mention two very important individuals who came into our lives this month, bringing with them chaos, mess and so much joy, our world is all the more richer for having them.  Here's to Dusty and Strummer, our wonderful new kittens.

Madonna - You Can Dance

MINE

Oh yes, you can.  Dance that is.  Whatever anyone may say about Her Madgeness, you can't deny the lady knows how to shake her booty.

While I'm getting somewhat disturbed by the twists and turns her body's taking of late (do you eat, ever?  C'mon, you're only a few years older than me and I'm barely holding it down to a 2-kilo increase per year despite diet and exercise) Madonna has been a large part of my life and I own a whole bunch of her music and I'm never ever going to feel any differently about how I felt when I first saw her writhing on a road in the video for Borderline.

As an album of remixes this succeeds - but of course it was released before her best ever dance song, 1989's Like A Prayer.  Which I've mentioned before, and no doubt will mention again.  I mean, no shit, lots of people agree that's the absolute pinnacle of her danceness.

Anyway, let's get to the album which YourZ will sigh over having to listen (I'm just betting).  Spotlight - meh.  OK.  Holiday - ooooh my my.  Anybody else remember her and those two dudes wiggling on the podium at the Hacienda in 1983, as per UK TV's The Tube?  I used to know how to do that dance.  No, really.  Ahem.  (YourZ sez: ahhh, hahahahaha... no wait, ahhahahahaha... you're killing me, hahahahaha...) Everybody is a pretty bland song and this remix doesn't do it too many favours, but the Nile Rodgers remix of Over and Over isn't too foul.

And then there's Into the Groove.  As featured on Madonna's only great acting role,  Desperately Seeking Susan and that's only because she's just playing herself.  I love that movie, watch it at least once a year, never get sick of it.  Because don't you just know that Rosanna Arquette (Rosanna! oops had a Toto moment) (YourZ sez: oh yeah, thanks VERY MUCH for that, you bugger) is just wrong as a spa-salesman's wife and was born to be with Aidan Quinn?  This is the Shep Pettibone remix and we already know how I feel about his dealings with Madge.  Where's The Party is pretty lame but can we take it for granted how I feel about this CD?  No?  OK then.

VERDICT: TURN IT UP (you can dance... for inspiration)

YOURZ

Alright, you know me well, Mine.  But hey, you're shooting fish in barrel with this one, aren't you?  You think I'm gonna sledge the fuck out it too, don't you?  Oh, and I could.  You know I could.  But you know what? I'm not gonna.  It would be too bloody easy, so I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of saying "I'm right, again", not this time.

I'm simple going to say I don't like it.  Never have, never will.  Your Radiohead bone is as broken as my 80s-disco-diva-dance-crap one.

There, see, not a single sledge in sight. (Mine says: oooh, the restraint.  Amazing.)

VERDICT: THROW IT OUT

For more information: http://www.madonna.com/

In our collection, we also have Like A Prayer, Something To Remember, Ray of Light, American Life and Hard Candy

George Michael - Ladies & Gentlemen - The Best Of George Michael

MINE

And he thought Kylie was bad... when the pointy stick landed on this CD I could hear the agony in YourZ' voice at the thought of having to listen to this, let alone review it.  But then, he's not fond of the dance floor, and I am. 

This double album is divided into two moods - and I've never listened to the first disc labelled "For The Heart".  URK *mimes vom*.  But Disc Two, "For The Feet," contains one of the best ever songs to hear on the dancefloor - Fastlove.  There's a moment on that - particularly in the remix - that's one of those moments.  When the world goes away and all that remains is your body, the music, the dancefloor... No?  It's the same in the Shep Pettibone remix of Madonna's Like A Prayer and Massive Attack's Be Thankful (Paul Oakenfold mix).  Only those who've experienced this on a dance floor - a really big one, preferably with lots of volume - will understand.

There are a few other good dance tunes on there but generally this is dreck.  So... now it's on the iPod...

VERDICT: THROW IT OUT

YOURZ

Excuse me... *retch*...  Okay, I think I'm fine now... no, wait *retch*

Yep, this is what George Michael does to me.  I really tried to listen, I truly did but my hands rebelled and refused to push the play button.  Eventually, I used my nose, despite its dripping protests and sat through a quick selection of tracks before my ears closed down.

Nope, don't like it at all.  Not one bit...

VERDICT: THROW IT OUT (it burns, it buuuuuurns...)

For more information: http://www.georgemichael.com/